Why does the word ‘complicated’ come with so much baggage for so many of us? Our society/culture has caused so many to view this word as standing in place of ‘messy’, ‘wrong’, or ‘unworthy’. Unhealthy. And everything between and alike.
Especially if we’re on the subject of relationships.
The shock & horror I am met with when I lightheartedly state that relationships are (and should be) complicated never ceases to send me in a mental tailspin.
Let’s dig into this. Shall we?
Basics, first. The true definition of the word complicated:
consisting of many interconnecting parts or elements; intricate.
Based on this very literal definition… I dare you to find one thing that you love or that deserves your admiration that ISN’T, in fact, complicated.
(No seriously. Try. Let’s do that back & forth.)
Complicated things are beautiful to me.
Glorious in every sense.
Enthralling and consuming.
Complicated (based on being many intricately interconnected parts) means there are layers to explore. It means there is always more to discover. More to learn.
So why. Why when we refer to relationships as complicated do we sour so much?
Relationships are complicated.
They SHOULD be complicated.
It’s in the complicated spaces we truly see who we are. See what path holds the most fear. Expose the cracks a bit more.
It’s within those exposed cracks, layer after layer, that our capacity to love any other human outside of ourselves truly has the opportunity to grow.
Complicated is our teacher. The encourager that assures us life truly only exists outside our comfort zone.
Life at least as I want to know it.