One of the greatest compliments I get is “I love your energy”.
Anything similar to that, and my bucket fills immediately.
But when it comes time to forging relationships past that.
All of a sudden I become a shell.
A shell that, for the life of her, cannot figure how or why anyone would actually want to be my friend.
It’s like I operate from this place of fear that I will be found out.
That I’m not really as great as the vibe I give off.
I overthink, overanalyze, and ultimately just hide away.
Just out of reach.
It’s only in the last year (few months to be more specific) that I’ve been taught how important the people around me are.
My vibe isn’t fake.
It isn’t being misread.
I know that. Or at least I’ve come to see that.
Because I have found women who don’t settle for me just standing out of reach.
They call me out.
They hold up mirrors.
They speak the truth & demand I explain.
It’s like the fear is pulled right out of my chest and thrown on the ground between us.
Only once it’s out. I see nothing.
Nothing stands in the way of creating relationships based on two good vibing humans.
It’s the most beautiful type of terrifying I’ve ever experienced.
I am here for it.
And I’m a much better and whole person because of it.
Find people who elevate you.
Listen when they call you out.
Pay attention to their connection with you.
Self sabotage doesn’t look good on any of us.