Who Am I

Somewhere In Between.

When I first started out, I didn’t think I could do it.

Track.

Grad school.

Momming.

Entrepreneurship.

So it should come as no surprise, that I’m in yet another space of transition & my instinct is to fall in-line with that feeling of doubt.

It’s oddly comfortable to allow the belief that I don’t know what I’m doing consume me.

It’s familiar & I know that if I stay in that space there is only one outcome.

To fail.

There is no risk involved. I will do, say and be exactly what I thought.

A failure.

Except, the moment I do that. The moment I slide into the comfort of low expectations, I realize I’ve come too far.

I’ve already done the hard work.

I’m STILL doing the hard work.

And right when I go to settle into the darkness, a tiny voice says to me “But sis. What IF…”

That’s all it takes.

I’m up again after that.

At least in the sense of putting one foot in front of the other type of up.

So here I am.

Somewhere in between who I was & who I am becoming.

If I believed in “shoulds” any more, then it SHOULD be terrifying.

I honestly don’t have much of a direction other than to seek fulfillment and unabashedly living in the moment.

I’ve been in spaces, I’m not sure I belong in – at least not until I walked into them & realized you belong when you show the f- up

I have had people rely on me when I was unsure of how to rely on myself.

I’ve started to find pockets of my heart that have been closed for so long I honestly forgot they were there.

And most importantly, I’ve stopped living in, fretting about, and focusing on the future.

The future is going to come.

No different that the past has already happened.

Neither hold any weight if we don’t do anything with today.

So when you decide to step out in the warmth of the “what if” I want you to remember something about this space between who you were and who you are becoming…

Do not rush past it.

In this space right now you can see and appreciate the beauty in glancing back.

Glancing back before you glance forward.

Only as a place marker for where you’ve been.

Only as a place marker for the lessons that allow you to reach forward.

This space right here.

This is the sweet spot.

This is what they call living.

This is where all the beauty and magic happen.

Don’t rush past that, baby.

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