• Lifestyle,  Who Am I

    A Day With Anxiety

    I have been on edge lately. And I know that’s my anxiety talking. It feels like I can’t breath. And when I pay attention to the fact that I can’t breathe, then I get itchy. It feels like the million things I need to do are screaming at me. It feels like failure. Am I really failing at EVERYTHING? It feels like every additional noise (outside of my head) is just too damn much. Because what’s going on INSIDE my head is just fucking noisy. It feels like, I got one thing done & I managed to do it well. But… what about all this OTHER stuff? I have to…

  • Relationships

    Fear can’t win. It’s not even real.

    I’ve kind of always known I can be a bit closed off. For years, however, I’ve been lying to myself about it. I had categorized myself an open book – mainly because I’m always willing to add to a conversation & don’t scare easy about discussing past experiences and my beliefs. Feelings? Not happy and lovely ones, because I’m a rockstar at sharing those. My pains. My anxieties. Yeah, turns out not those so much. The fact that if I’m not careful I will easily succumb to the thoughts that I am actually NOT lovable. That no one ACTUALLY likes me or wants me around keeps me locked down and…

  • Who Am I

    Whites Only

      There is a lot of mental stress that comes from being biracial and growing up in a predominately white town; most of it was not something I was able to name or recognize until recently. There is so much unspoken, but thick, pressure to be respectable. To fit in a box and play a part. And it wasn’t just my town. The issue I am highlighting followed me to college and in my career. The main theme was predominantly white spaces. I think sometimes “we” think that if people are smiling and inviting us to social events, we are equal. We fall into the whole facade of “I don’t…

  • Lifestyle

    You are your breath

    You are not your thoughts. Detach from them. Let them be. Let them pass. You are, in fact, your breath. Be. Stay here. Flow in and out with yourself. With your breath. During my meditation this morning I was able to settle into a place where my thoughts were ships passing me by as I sat on dry land watching them float by. It was in this peaceful moment that I realized I am able to recognize each thought(ship) for exactly what it is. Just a thought. If I chose, I could watch my thought pass by without attaching any emotion to it. It didn’t have to suck me in.I…

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