So many of us have been raised to constantly assess risk, and run the other way at the smallest amount detected. We have been repeatedly warned about dreaming TOO big and warned against making decisions based solely on gut feelings.
The safe and “responsible” way to live life is to finish school, get a job (don’t bother applying for those you are not fully qualified for, but take what is given to you and is with a stable company), buy a moderate house that needs work so you can build equity, don’t drown your children in gifts because that will teach them to be material in nature. Don’t overspend. Vacations aren’t for everyone and certainly not meant to be taken every year.
I’ve never been much of a follow the rules or the masses type. And that’s not for lack of trying.
The more I tried, the less I could breathe.
For most of my 33 years of life. There were a few decisions here and there I made that rocked the boat (or let’s me honest, flipped that bitch over). Despite the manner in which such (outwardly) catastrophic events may have caused, inside I felt alive and free. The reactions and judgement around me always put me right back in the sensible, assess every risk box.
So I played small.
And I was truly miserable. My anxiety was unmanageable and I was developing an entirely too intimate relationship with depression.
Which brings me to this.
Why play small?
Is it REALLY safe? Is it ACTUALLY responsible?
And honestly… what’s the POINT of playing it safe?
The way I see it. We only have ONE life.
But. Each day we are allowed to experience is a new chance. Daily New Year resolutions, if you will.
Do we treat resolutions – with the illusion of a brand new slate and year – with risk assessment and reserve?
Or do we write down our hopes and wishes?
I usually go big. If it doesn’t scare me, then I’m not going in the right direction.
And EVERY day I am given, I use that as a new chance to plant seeds toward those dreams.
And sometimes. I make them even bigger.
For example. I wanted to move. To the DC area. Where I’d never been – even for a visit or a layover.
So, I just did it. I uprooted my family and said tearful goodbyes.
As a result, I found a new level of happiness.
I finished my MBA and turned down a well (better than I’ve had) paying job because it wasn’t exciting and it didn’t scare me. It was…boring.
I began an UNPaid internship with a non-profit organization that makes me talk really fast and grin all day while skipping along dreaming of the possibility the future holds for us.
I also started my own business with a start-up direct selling wine company. So many things in that sentence STILL seem wrong, and I adore it. I’m terrified of the goals I’ve set.
What is MOST terrifying is that I honestly believe… I honestly FEEL those goals have already been met. They are mine.
I won’t play small. It’s not safe.
Remember. Daily chance.