• Dear Strong Black Woman
    Who Am I,  Wine Life

    Dear Strong Black Woman. Pour Some Wine.

    The strong Black woman. We all know her. We have all (at some point) been forced into filling her role.  The plight of the Black woman is to keep it all together. All the time. She is the foundation to the world around her.  It’s so entrenched into who we are as Black women that many of us wear this strength as a badge of honor. But why??  And is it really? As the strong Black woman our emotions are so often labeled as overreactions.  Depression and anxiety are seen as sensitivity issues.  And yet, our cortisol levels are higher than other demographics.  The strong Black woman keeps us invisible,…

  • Healing Your Innter child
    Relationships,  Who Am I

    Questions to Challenge Your Inner Child

    Growing up I began to absorb a (distorted) truth. That truth was that love wasn’t something I am worthy of. My inner child learned it was something that had to be earned.  And the whole essence of earning love was to prove you deserved it. Or fit in a box that deemed you worthy. In my trauma filled inner child, she knew the truth to be that in order to deserve love you must be everything for someone.  She believed that her needs were never met because she was never good enough. She hadn’t done enough. The proof wasn’t strong enough. So, for the past 15 years of my life…

  • Lifestyle,  Who Am I

    Self Love & Food

    Healing is never going to be linear. Self love taught me that. As I started and committed to the journey of healing my inner child and sloughed off the weight of the microaggressions that raised me, I actually lost (a different) part of myself. While I was uncovering who I am at my core, I began to open a new box of fear.  The thing is, no one taught me how to love myself. Standing in your light and truly loving yourself was not exactly exemplified for me growing up. The people around me gave with reckless abandon and with no accountability to boundaries & what actually made them happy. In…

  • Who Am I

    Dear White People, You Have Work To Do.

    To be honest, I just don’t have a whole lot of words right now. And I’m tired of yelling Black Lives Matter. So, I’m going to borrow from many of the peers I have met in fighting for equity and justice. IF you want to actually do something beyond sending your “heartbreak” & “thoughts and prayers”… IF you want to be an actual ally… IF you want to be anti-racist because you have finally learned being “not racist” is simply complacent & not enough for change… If any of these categories fits where you are right now, then hopefully you can use something on this list to do something in…

  • Wine Life

    Happy National Zinfandel Day!

    Happy National Zinfandel Day! Truth is, this has become a favorite red wine of mine over the last year. I like the balance, the color and the heavy fruit forwardness of this full wine.  I used to naively think that Zinfandel meant White Zinfandel which is (gross) and a bit of a joke in the wine world.  However, I have been happily mistaken!  So let me tell you what I know.  Zinfandel is largely grown in California. However, the same grape is also grown in Italy, yet it’s called Primitivo. Twins. But just to make it more confusing, the grape is actually native to Croatia. In Croatia, it’s name (the…

  • Relationships

    Tips On Anxiety & Relationships

    We have to talk about where anxiety comes from if we are going to take it out of the driver’s seat. Growing up I began to absorb a (distorted) truth. That truth was that love wasn’t something I am worthy of. It had to be earned.  And the whole essence of earning love was to prove you deserved it. In my trauma filled inner child, she knew her truth to be that in order to deserve love you must be everything for someone.  She believed that her needs were never met because she was never good enough. She hadn’t done enough. The proof wasn’t strong enough. So, for the past…

  • Relationships

    How To DIY Your Divorce

    Filing for divorce was very empowering for me. I’ve always been someone who blurts out her latest idea, self-development or accomplishment the second it happens.  The problem is that it never felt good.  I was constantly doing and saying things for other people.  I was in a constant state of waiting for judgment and approval.  The problem is, we can’t truly get approval from anyone but ourselves.  That void will never be full until you look at yourself and say  “I approve of you & what you’re doing” That’s what fueled my decision to do this divorce by myself.  I didn’t even tell my parents and sister until it was…

  • Lifestyle

    Life Lessons. Courtesy of the Alphabet.

    With the start of a new school year creeping up on us, I figured I’d take it back to basics.  Life lessons. Courtesy of the alphabet.  Awkward. Awkward does not mean wrong. It’s often when I find myself in the pockets of awkward, that I see a chance for myself to take a deep breath and meet a new piece of myself. Feeling awkward is a time for me to push beyond my comfort circle to see what’s on the other side. To blast passed what I’m afraid of.  Backups. Backup plans, backup friends, backup lovers, backup jobs, etc. Backups will only ever keep you from what you want. From…

  • Wine Life

    How to Pair Wine With Summer Heat

    Summer is here and most of us around the country have been feeling her heat.  Which means it’s a great time to talk about what wine we should all be sipping during this hot weather.  Most people naturally default to white and pink wine in the summer, and while a lot of that logic does make sense, but I am also going to include some lighter style reds.  When I say “lighter style”, I am referring to texture & not flavor. The assumed texture of red is heavy, and makes you want to curl up inside by a fire. But if you know what to look for, you don’t have…

  • Earth,  Lifestyle

    Reducing Plastic. To Infinity & Beyond.

    It is really no secret at this point that we live in a super-duper plastic world.  So much of what we use throughout the course of our daily lives is designed to be temporary.  You know what that translates to? A whole fuck-ton of trash. Just piles of trash chillin on our gorgeous (all-we-got) planet.  Think about this.  Think about every single toothbrush you’ve had from the time you started brushing your teeth until now. Think about every single coffee (or hot chocolate, or tea) lid you’ve walked away with – from coffee shops, gas stations, hotels, work, etc.  Now that you have a picture of ALL the plastic in…

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